Eternity

I'm having a hard time concentrating on work. The more work I have to do the harder it is to focus. I've already done work for three different people this week but feel like I haven't gotten anything done because of the incompleteness of it all.

Last night I made quesadillas with a friend. We made them fresh with masa (corn flour), pressed with a wooden tortilla press, filled with queso (cheese) and deep fried. Apparently quesadillas are traditionally fried in lots of oil. The fresh salsa we made caught my lips on fire.

We went over her terrible digital wedding photos to pick out what she wants to have corrected and printed but then her computer wouldn't burn a CD so I couldn't bring them home to work on them.

I have a couple ideas for the literary cover photo project but I either need a model or an assistant (in the case that I act as model). I'm not sure if I want a person in the photo, especially me, but I want to take some with a person and some without and then decide or let my sister (the graphic designer on the project) decide.

Rather than the PR thing, I did some pretty cool JavaScript this week, though I'm stuck on a little problem with it that I know D could solve in about five minutes so need to wait for his help this weekend. I'm supposed to be writing a FAQ page for bosses site. It was my idea and I had plenty of questions in mind when I suggested it last week. But now I'm just confused.

I don't like looking at my computer these days, which is why I write here so infrequently. I work for an hour or so and it'll feel like five and I'll have to take a break.

People say that when you keep yourself busy, time will fly by, but it's not like that for me. The more I do, whether or not they are things I enjoy doing, the longer time takes. Sometimes I feel like I've lived a week within a single day. I don't mean a frantic, stressed out day filled with way too much busy stuff, but me just doing one thing then another for eternity.

Maybe that's the problem: I've recovered from my addiction to self-inflicted stress, panic, and anxiety and now I'm like the recovered junky who feels something missing and the endless time drags painfully on.

The more I do the longer time feels like an eternity. The moments I spend not doing anything go by much faster because in those moments I'm outside of time.

Augustine of Hippo wrote that time exists only within the created universe, so that God exists outside of time.

Posted by Ari at 11:28:30